In the year of our Lord 2019 on the 30th of September, after 7 weeks of learning Spanish in language school, a 2:15am departure from Guatemala, a 13-hour bus drive to San Pedro (with very little sleep), a quick 3-day retreat in Saba, 3 more hours in a car, an overnight in Tocoa at the house of the Vice President of the Board of Trustees, and a hop skip and a jump to Trujillo, we’ve finally made it and are living it up at La Finca del Niño! Suffice it to say, it’s been a crazy week, but the travelling portion of this journey has come to an end (praise the Lord!). Unpacking a suitcase never felt so good!
I thought this day would never come, and yet, here I am sitting in the sala [living room] of our Mission house happy as a clam to no longer be in a period of preparation (almost). The house itself is a rectangular structure with the following specs: a front porch with an ocean view, an open concept kitchen and living space, a radio room, two full baths (one for men and one for women), a tranquility garden in the center of the house lacking a roof and open to the elements, a laundry space with its very own pila, and 7 bedrooms. I live in one of the small bedrooms with my fellow missionary, Adam. We have exactly three beds (a bunk bed and one single bed), two dressers, and a night stand, all of which is carefully packed into the very small bedroom. My favorite part of the house includes the numerous bookshelves filled with all sorts of books! It’s definitely a pipe dream, but if I could read a whole bookshelf by the end of the time I’d be very pleased.
Now that the newbies, or “buds”, as the current missionaries refer to us, have arrived, we have begun a 3-week orientation to get acquainted with the new place (so, yeah, turns out the preparation isn’t quite finished). They came up with the name because, as they say, we are like flowers that are just beginning this new part of our lives and have yet bloom. Cheesy in the worst of ways, but it’s stuck and now us “buds” refer to the others as “blossoms” to make things extra cheesy. Orientation has been good though, and a hard lesson in the virtue of patience. I can’t explain the restlessness I feel actually being in the place I am serving and still not quite serving. To avoid completely overwhelming us, we have these three weeks to lean into the work, the service of our kids, and everything about a new environment and country, and it’s most definitely a blessing I’m just not recognizing nor admitting. In reality, I’d probably be belly aching were it the other way around, arriving and being put to work right away without any time to settle in and just be for a moment. And before you ask me, the answer is no. Unfortunately, I still don’t know where my placement is. Even that can’t be determined quite yet.
It’s frustrating, but day by day I’m slowly beginning to find the peace in it all. I remember thinking to myself “if only I had time to do x, y, and z” back in college. Welp, I now have it, and boy is it weird. Our days are structured around prayer times, meal times, and a few workshops/presentations here and there, but besides that, it’s just me and my thoughts, my thoughts and me, just hanging out, shooting the breeze, thinking…
Alright. That’s a bit dramatic. However, the thinking is frequent now, and it’s a real labyrinth up there. But on to the other uses of my time. Did I mention we live approximately 35 steps from the beach? It’s BEAUTIFUL! Another built in sound machine for my nighttime sleeping habits and the setting has now been turned to “ocean tranquility.” Bonus! Because of where we are located on the coast, we are able to see both the sunrise AND the sunset! The body of water is the Caribbean (when Captain Jack Sparrow arrives, I’ll let you know), and it’s salty as ever and super warm. My dad would probably refer to it as bath water, and after jumping in, my great grandfather would surface exclaiming, “Ahhh. Warm as pee” (both accurate descriptions)! There are fruit trees everywhere here: bananas, mangoes, limes (or lemons. We’re not quite sure), oranges, plantains, and other fruits that aren’t typical to the US so I don’t know their names yet.
The kids are AWESOME! They welcomed us at the front gate when we arrived and with big smiles holding signs they had made for each one of us. The older boys made mine and I think I intimidated them a bit when I came to receive it (truth is, I was more intimidated by them, mostly because two of the four were taller than me). After a week, however, intimidation has disappeared and we’ve already planned our weekly workout schedule and the date of our debut album release (one of them raps). As for the girls, the boys and I are starting to scratch the surface when it comes to pick-up lines and suave moves, though the boys and I admit, we are rather irresistible anyway and all the girls have crushes on us so…
I will acknowledge that not everything is as glamourous as the things I have spent the last few paragraphs explaining. It’s hot down here. I mean, HOT! I’ve conceded that I’m just going to be sweaty about 80% of the day and that’s that. It makes sleeping extremely difficult as well. I wake up an average of 4 times during the night covered in more sweat and I barely have a sheet covering my body. There’s quite a bit of wildlife here, primarily insects. The other day I saw an armadillo and an iguana inside the Finca walls (arguably, some neat animals to find). The other days, I’m frequently greeted by ants surrounding the toilet, geckos climbing all over the walls of the house, and one day a very large wolf spider in my shower that I originally mistook for a tarantula which Marisa so graciously flattened using a liter of Clorox (arguably some not so neat animals to find, and in your house, no less). The water stops working somewhat regularly but isn’t too much of a problem. I mean, who doesn’t love a good bucket shower? We’re good about filling up water jugs regularly so drinking water isn’t an issue. Yeah, and as the veteran missionaries explained, if it’s yellow, let it mellow, and if it’s brown, well…yeah, that gets a bit tricky. You’re just SOL I guess. No, that’s not true. It’s nothing a basin of water won’t solve, though I will tell you, the term “walk of shame” has a new meaning here.
So, there you have it. A very brief overview of the last week and introduction to Honduran life at the Finca. The key has been attempting to bring about some normalcy in this place, but it’s just not possible at the moment. After all, it has only been one week. I’d be a little shocked if normalcy emerged in that short of time. Shouldn’t be too long now, though. As I mentioned earlier, we’re still in orientation and will be for a few more weeks. The current missionaries, our superstar role models, are a hoot and a half here, full of love and joy for the kids, the workers, and the buds. It’s a shame they’ll all be leaving us in a few months time. It will be good, though, for them who are returning to the States (and one to New Zealand), and us who are just arriving.
The good news is that we’re here. I don’t have to keep wondering what the Finca will look like or what the kids will be like. For the most part all my doubts and fears have been resolved, and now there is peace. It took a Desert Day (basically a silent retreat for a few hours) yesterday to realize that a lot of my fear, frustration, and worry has been caused by me. I spent the few hours reading a bit of Scripture (one being Mt. 6:27 “And can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your span of life?”) and the first part of Searching For and Maintaining Peace by Father Jacques Philippe (good quick read if anyone is interested). It seems lame to say it, but it helped so much: physically, mentally, spiritually. In the silence, I was reminded that I am where my feet are, and where that is, God has called me, and where that is, it is good. I sat at the edge of the ocean and just laughed at myself and with God. Stupid, Ryan. Sometimes, you’re just so stupid. What possibly made you think you’d arrive here and suddenly be an expert about everything there is to Finca life or the Honduran culture?
Everything is good, and what lies ahead will also be good. God be my strength; I know it will be good.
Paz y Bien
Ryan
